What Do I Say?

Grief doesn’t come with a script… but somehow everybody shows up holding one.

Dionne C. Monsanto and Yvette Love Dávila get real about the phrases people say when they mean well but cause real harm—“At least you have other children,” “God has a plan,” “Time heals all wounds,” and even “How are you?” They break down why these lines minimize pain, rush healing, and miss the moment entirely—and what empathy actually sounds like instead.

This conversation also gives practical ways to show up: presence over platitudes, specifics over big questions, and love that looks like action (food, help, “I’m here—no response needed”). The episode closes with an Ashé moment, breathing life into the names of loved ones: Joseph Guadalupe, Nan Kalaliku Tayahimba, Justin Ross, Tina Allen, Aunt Cynthia Wallace, and Ramona Anderson.

Aché.

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